Red.

So what happened?

I got MODED by a ladybird I was hollerin’ at, s’all good though, no lie. I came on too strong with the honesty and the random musings and broke several ‘rules,’ thereby landing me in the queue of faceless, dateless, (but remorseless/hopeless) men.

Thankfully it happened well after I saw Hou Hsiao-Hsien’s current film The Flight of the Red Balloon. A NYT review got it on point, but I’ll paraphrase with these catch words that, I should hope, resonate:

Red
Disconnect
Melancholy
Diaspora

(Now if I stuck with the D’s the list would be: Disconnect, Diaspora, Dread)

One of the random highlights was running into fellow filmmaker Barry Jenkins of Medicine for Melancholy fame. I announced myself to him, told him I was a fan that left a message some time ago to which he apologized for not responding, but assured me that if I was in the neighborhood to watch HHH, then having a coffee is in order. Cool.

Upon return home though, I found the email that I was going to celebrate or fear in the course of the day. It ended up being both.
Bottom line — I messed up, as much as people say I have ‘game,’ I’m still that chubby kid in middle school that leaves carefully crafted poems in a girls locker and posts up somewhere to watch her read… and observe her disaffection towards it…

haha… ha….? *sigh.

So it’s back my grind!

Sometime ago right after my relationship with Melissa ended (and it’s really over now I SWEAR!), I compiled a list of goals to be completed throughout the year. Well, it’s nearly halfway through, so let me provide a status report –

Code Aeroplano de Papel
This project is rife with false starts. I have an outline going, and pages of annotations to myself, but no script. It’s getting closer to visualization, I’m seeing the grains of sand on the shores of Imperial Beach, the fineness of rust on corrugated tin… a divorce on the way, and a young Pinay with a lisp.

Code Mirror Analogue
Aha…. well um… I have 20+ hours of footage (from 2008 and 2004) from the Philippines, I should be able to produce something. All this takes is editing, editing, editing…. I need to find a place to sit and do this. Anybody with an editing suite that I can sit at for hours on end in the wee hours of the morning? I’m thinking Manilatown, or Chris W.’s new digs… holla.

Code Peace to Freedom Fighters
Nomi. I got you. Gimme a minute. I just got a DP, I’m working out a schedule! But that music video idea still belongs to your track, and since Nicole had a dream about it, you know it’ll get made…real.

Code Legacy
I’m dropping this one. The idea would have been to follow around Isaac Obenzinger (Manilatown Staff) and his mother, Estella Habal (San Jose State Professor) — the documentary would have endearingly uncovered some truths and realities regarding projections of hope and the desire for legacy. Both would have been strong figures to deconstruct and demystify some sort of ideal situation with activist mother and activist son.

Code Negra
I have contacts. I’m working them, but just not the film….

Code Missed
This project required me to organize a show for good friend Ms. Mari Tepper. Ms. Tepper has a truly bizarre tale of being scammed out of her work, and other personal tragedies – I feel somewhat akin to her. Although, I’ve taken her out to dinner, and have hours of interviews and pages of transcriptions, I’ve nothing to show for it at the moment. I’ll get there ma, don’t worry.

Code Harbinger
Vang Yang. B-boy organizer extraordinaire. This man rises above struggle and keeps it going, he can’t help himself. At the rate this man goes, he should have the Hmong youth in Fresno as a solid contingent to be reckoned with… I should have done a story about him for Asian Week, but I missed out on the opportunity to follow-up on a story because of other obligations.

Code Tulsa/Write
Maybe I should go back in light of hearing about Tom Waits recent tour run… I could get in a visit with the Soul Rivals and get some cipher time in. I can’t though, no moola, and mucho debt are major roadblocks. Maybe the fall may bring in more opportunities, but I doubt this at the moment.

Code Visual Correspondence
Dangit! I broke my camera — need to get it repaired, but I’ve been loaned a Leica to help ease that pain. FILM FILM FILM!

Code Screen Addicts
I’m having enough trouble as it is to rehash a personal addiction to cinema, how do I expect to get a group going? But I’ll build myself back up to my 1 movie/day quota.

Code Friendship
I’ve aimed to make more friends to kick it with this year. Sounds lame, but unless I put it on this list, it may not happen, but it’s happening.

Code No Frontin’
Okay, maybe I need to go on hiatus with dating in order to give myself more time to orient myself. Dating is confusing, but apparently that’s the fun in it…(?)

Code Better Circulation
I think this has evolved to meditating on the MUNI and BART by opening up all passages physical, mental, and spiritual. There is the ethereal quality in the public act of commuting. When one gets the chance, one should focus harder on nothing while staring off into the mass of commuters.

Code Habeas
BACK TO WORK Y’ALL! I’m enjoying the day job — pays the bills, feeds the mind, nourishes the soul.
***
Also in the manner of weeks, I’ve booked myself for several significant projects that have temporarily deterred me from working on my person:

I’m shooting a short with the working title, Unveiled. Directed by Manijeh Fata Gonzalez, this project explores the affects of hate and nationalism on a Persian family in the United States. It’s been a minute since I’ve shot something a little more “traditional.” I was DP for the Philippines unit for Rochelle’s film entitled Celebration, but that was also impromptu and off-the-cuff. Still satisfying. However, I’ve been meaning to get back to some sort of tradition production model integrating meetings, shot lists, storyboarding, conceptualizing etc. So far Mani’s been a wonder, and I’m humbled to witness this process once again.
With the short and quick lessons that I’ve been learning there, I’ve taken it to another homegirl’s short film. I’m happy to say that I’m also helping Christine Kwon shoot her first short in a similarly structured fashion. We’ve had several meetings lately, which include a screening of one her favorite films of all time, Kaspar Hauser by the German maverick Werner Herzog (I was amused with a cameo with one Kidlat Tahimik!!!). With that said, I don’t think I can do impressionistic shooting in the East Bay, but I’ll give it a whirl.

Also informing my MO has been Bindlestiff Stories High Workshops. I’m currently in the acting workshop, and have completed the directing workshop some time ago. I’ve been soaking up as much as I can, and the Bindlestiff way is an amalgam of sooooo many different models of theatre production mixed with a little bit of tamarind and patis…. It’s good work and I’m charmed by all of my peers and hope to rep hard when the time comes, look out for announcements for the show and such.

I’m also in the talks with manifesting a previously dormant SOMA project that involves uncovering layers and layers of history underneath years of concrete, asphalt, and paint. Most explicitly, I’m co-developing a cirriculum that caters to the potential five students that I’ll be working with for the rest of the year. As an aside, I’ll be attempting to document more of that narrative when I get 30 seconds to myself…. one idea included a project aptly tited SOMA 4 – 7 which integrates interviews with SOMA residence and their hours from either 4 – 7AM and/or 4 – 7PM. Crazy? Yes. Passionate? Even more so. Single? Makes it so.

So, ladies, whoever and whereever you are, I’m still taking applications for relief every once in a while. If you don’t protest to a flower on a first date, or charmed revelations in an email at the end of a work day, hollatcheboeyh! It might take a minute for me to get back to you, but you understand, si?